How I almost died yesterday

Two nights ago, my INTJ, his family, and I decided to have a night out—dinner and then an impromptu visit to our favorite wine tasting room.
 
(Which is entirely normal for a Wednesday night when your person is just as retirement-minded as his actually-retired parents.)

Everything was fine and dandy (with a few extra dandies in the form of glasses of cab sav)… until we got home. 

In less than 5 minutes, I went from tipsy in a cocktail dress to praying to the porcelain gods. And, overnight, I went from a Spiderman-esque “I don’t feel so good” to wishing I was dead to thinking, well, maybe this actually IS death and Nicole “Grim Reaper” English soon will be here, ready to collect.

As I mentioned in my last email, I’ve been taking much better care of myself in terms of diet, exercise, and finally wearing sunscreen. What I didn’t know was, in my quest to age backwards, I’ve shrunk my formerly-herculean alcohol tolerance (thanks, law school) to almost zero.

A fact that I had no idea was happening until it was much too late, and I already tasting my dinner again (albeit on my knees and amid tears).

It was humbling, humiliating, hellacious, and every other h-word when I realized that 1-parts of my lifestyle are now inherently incompatible and 2-there’s still MUCH more I need to change to stay healthy and happy (or die). 

A life-changing bottom that was just as stomach-turning two years ago when 1-I got my eviction notice in the mail and 2-it was from my own uncle, which means my business situation (or rather, lack thereof) was completely untenable and needed to change (or be homeless).

Worst still, both bottoms were reached because of actions entirely of my own making (drinking too much and, in terms of floundering sales, talking too much).

But, thankfully I was able to recover both times—I still have my apartment and, today, I can finally walk and digest food normally. 

But it wasn’t until I got to the crux of the problem—my failure to understand my new physiology and the true personalities of prospects and leads—AND the solution. 

I’m still working on the former (to go dry or not to go dry?) but, I can tell you how to improve your copy, marketing, and sales, which I specifically go over in Season 1 of Biz Typology and the bonus 2-hour Masterclass, in a way that your leads feel understood (and most importantly, ready to buy). 

For more (without no chaser), go here: 

http://www.biztypology.com

Why my boss almost shot me

Back when I was a young, nubile legal assistant, I used to work for a rather particular, peculiar attorney. 

Even though he was a young hot-shot, he was a curmudgeon with as much social presence of the Grinch and the quirky habits to boot. 

For instance:

He had a strict “closed door” policy so that no one would interrupt his work, ever (which I later found out, mainly involved napping). No one was allowed to enter without seeing me first and, depending on the day and his mood, he might be in the office, or he might not be. 

(It all depended on what he’d bark at me when marching past my desk, head down, before slamming the door for the day.)

He would even go so far as to sneak into the senior partners’ offices while they were away on business in order to continue his “work” on their vastly more comfortable couches, leaving me explicit instructions to buzz him on the intercom with a code phrase to let him know if anyone (i.e., anyone of importance) was looking for him. 
  
So, to say he was an introvert would be quite the understatement. 

(An argument could be made that he was the precursor to another slacker, Grinch-like INTJ, but that’s for another email.)

One day, we got an important letter in the mail: a critical decision for an appeal he had made that, at the time, was a very big deal. 

Not only did we get it earlier than expected, but we won the decision. 

This appeal had taken months to draft (and years off my life to research) so I was beside myself with excitement.

So excited, I ran straight into his office, barging right in (closed door be damned) while waving the letter in my hand. 

“WE GOT IIITTT-“

“For feck’s sake, Stefanie, if I had my gun on me, I would have SHOT you!”

Turns out I had interrupted his “work” and startled him so badly that, had he been armed, I would have been a dead woman.

Which is no different than how, years later when I began freelancing and consulting, I’d barge in on introverts on sales calls, literally talking my way out of sales. 

Except, instead of a nearly dead me, I would have a very dead lead on my hands.

It wasn’t until I realized the dissimilarities between introverts and extroverts… and the critical differences in how they want to be talked to, health with, and even sold to… did I make headway in either the legal field or in the marketing industry. 

Differences that I go over both Season 1 and the newly-released Season 2 of Biz Typology, where I show you how to make out like a bandit when it comes to making sales with ease, even if you’re dealing with the Grinchiest of them all. 

And, if you’re an introvert, I also show you how to generate leads and sales, and even build your list, without exhausting yourself with barging-in loud-mouths like me and other Extroverts. 

For more, without bullets, go here: 

http://biztypology.com

Marketing secrets of an Intermittent jerk

Lately, as most women do when still on the “young and pretty” side of the Wall, I’ve started taking better care of my health. 

One of the ways I’ve been doing that is Intermittent Fasting. Basically, I stop eating at a certain time (usually 6pm) and don’t eat again until later the next day, ideally after 16 hours or so. 

(Which incidentally is how I stayed fighting fit while in law—except then, I was just too busy to eat.) 

Like with all things new and shiny, I wanted to know everything there is to know about Intermittent Fasting, joining all the online communities, and reading all I can about the magical and transformative properties of IF.  And, since I was now a dedicated faster, I also bought the necessary app to keep track of my progress. 

Naturally, I wanted to share all this new! exciting! information about intermittent fasting with my INTJ: 

“Do you want to see my app? I just got one that tracks when you started fasting and when it’s safe to stop.”

“I already have one—it’s called a clock.”

See, he already had been intermittent fasting off and on for over ten years. 

And, in those ten years, didn’t see any need to complicate it any more than need be: you eat until a certain time, and then you stop. Rinse, repeat. 

(Which is no different than his plain-text philosophy for email and marketing in general.)

But, being my personality type, I thought I needed the ClickFunnels of IF to succeed. 

Truth is, I don’t. 

And the same goes for all the bells and whistles of “market research” like complicated, redundant surveys, “human performance hacking” like Fascinate or “self-mastery” like (ugh) Human Design. 

All you need is a few questions, that so happened to be backed by nearly 100-year old science, and a little bit of patience. 

And, maybe a subscription to Biz Typology. 

For more (no app needed), go here: 

http://biztypology.com

Why your love life is a Death Spiral

Yesterday, one of the most dreaded topics in dating came up in the Biz Typology members-only group: 

The Death Spiral. 

In all its grim details, here’s what it looks like: 

Stage 1: Theo the Thinker meets Faye the Feeler. Faye is enamored of Theo and falls totally head over heels for him. She feels #blessed. Theo is characteristically cautious…but interested. Faye is fun (as are most Feelers), so he wants to see where this goes.

Stage 2: Faye appreciates and admires many characteristics of Theo’s Thinking ways and thus begins to behave more like a Thinker, too—maybe even fooling Theo into thinking s/he is a Thinker like him. In other words, Faye starts acting too cool for school. Theo then relaxes, figuring he’s with a kindred Thinker spirit, getting more comfortable with the relationships. He starts acting like normal Thinking self because he feels… understood.

Stage 3: Faye feels Theo cooling off and wonders what she is doing wrong. So, she tries to be even more like a Thinker to compensate. (Hard to get—or even becoming a little bit of an Ice Queen). But this doesn’t feel right. (Because Faye is a Feeler after all. She feels all the things.) Faye starts to get needy and may even consider it her duty to draw Theo out of his Thinking shell, encouraging Theo to express all those feelings he *must* have buried deep inside. But, Theo doesn’t get it… because, well, he’s a Thinker. What feelings?

Stage 4: Theo feels pressure from Faye’s emotional demands and may need distance to figure things out. (And if Theo the Thinker is an introvert too… he needs about the width of the Grand Canyon.) Faye then panics and becomes needier. Theo withdraws more…so Faye needs more…and on and on it goes. Ouch.

Stage 5: Faye suddenly realizes that the reason things aren’t working is that Theo is cold and unfeeling and mean and unnurturing and all these terrible, awful things she can’t stop thinking about (and, if she’s an Extrovert, can’t stop talking about too all her friends). Faye, feeling *so hurt and sad*, abandons Theo without looking back. She can do so much better without him! (And, if she’s P’s, it may be especially abrupt.) Theo is confused… and yet a little relieved… but disappointed. Back to the dating drawing board.

But, it didn’t have to end that way.

In fact, there’s a way to use these differences (between Feelers and Thinkers, Extroverts and Introverts, and so on) to your advantage.

But, there is a difference between using typing tactically (“let me act all cool for school/touchy-feely to get that guy/girl/client/sale”) versus on principle (“I understand and respect how that person is and now can relate to them in a way that they can understand and respect how I am, too.”)

And that difference can find you happiness… or at the bottom of the Death Spiral’s vortex. 

In just a few days, I’ll be releasing Season Two of Biz Typology, a series of videos dedicated to getting your business (and love life) out of death’s claws.
 
To get access (and join the conversation already happening in the Facebook community), go here: 

http://biztypology.com