by Stefanie Arroyo | Dec 25, 2017 | Biz Typology
For most, the holiday season means going home to a million family members, endless plates of food and even more decorations.
Except for my family. Because that involves too much socializing.
Growing up with all Introverts (or “I’s”), I learned at a young age to:
– not answer the door when a surprise visitor shows up
– wait until “the coast is clear” to leave the house (i.e., the neighbors are out of sight)
– be quiet at the dinner table (because food is to be enjoyed, not talked over)
– sit at the back of the restaurant (at the “Mafia table”)
– never talk to my parents before their morning coffee (my mom literally shooing me away—“no, not now, Stefanie”—before I could even say good morning)
Christmas was no different.
Our tree was always fake (because “why go out and get one more than once?”) with monochromatic decorations (as “this is not a disco”).
And while all my friends had 38394849393 cousins over, it was just the four of us—because they were already over on Thanksgiving and we can see them next year.
That’s not to say I was raised by Grinches—my brother and I were never for want of presents. Which we’d open in the afternoon because, according to my brother, they’ll still be there no matter what time we woke up.
(Which is the same logic he used to justify nixing the cookies and milk—“Santa doesn’t need to eat at *everyone’s* house…”)
As the lone extrovert, I always thought they were just antisocial.
But, when I described this to my INTJ, his eyes widened with glee:
“That sounds… AMAZING.”
Only decades later did I realize that wasn’t that they didn’t have Christmas cheer—they were just particular in how they shared it.
Much like how all I’s are particular about sharing anything, especially their time, energy, and conversation. And, as I learned, even love and affection.
Which is something I wish I knew as a kid—and, later as an adult, when onboarding introverted clients.
Because it’s one thing to be shushed by my mom over coffee—and entirely another to get an “I’ll think about it” or, worse, outright rejected on a discovery call.
If you’re an E dealing with I’s (or an I looking for shelter in a sea of E’s), Biz Typology may help you better handle your clients, JV partners, support staff, employees (and employers) and even your loved ones.
And, more importantly, it may finally make sense why your family might be a little… off.
To get some Biz Typology under your tree (for less than the average stocking stuffer), go here:
http://biztypology.com
by Stefanie Arroyo | Dec 24, 2017 | Biz Typology
A few days ago, a field representative from the CDC was at my door, wanting me to answer an hour-long questionnaire for a county-wide public health study.
(Of course, in one of the most densely populated counties in the country, I was one out of the 8 households chosen. C’est la vie.)
Because as a government employee he probably already knew everything about me, I let him in and answered (or rather confirmed) all his invasive, personal health questions.
One of the things he asked was if I’m forgetful. Seeing the blank look on my face (as I even forget what I’m saying mid-sentence), he said:
“Everyone forgets where they put their keys, it’s when you forget what the keys are for is when you should be worried.”
I laughed. But then he responded to my giggle with unexpected seriousness:
“You know, this is actually a serious question. Doctors say this so if you don’t have that problem, you can just laugh it off and not feel uncomfortable. But if you do, it gets to the bottom of the problem real fast.”
With one simple, mildly amusing question, a doctor can assess whether if your brain fog is just a shortened attention span, age, “mommy brain”…or a serious underlying neurological issue.
If you don’t have a problem, it’s just harmless banter.
If you do, then gives rise for concern—but not in a way that causes panic or, worse, denial.
And, that’s what true personality typing does, too.
Many personality tests (especially the free ones) ask questions in such a way that you can’t help but answer with bias.
Which is exactly why so many people are mistyped—for instance, true introverts are often typed as extroverts, and vice versa.
In fact, up to 78% of people are mistyped completely.
Why?
Because these internet quizzes don’t ask questions in a natural way that allow for unbiased, self-aware answers.
Instead, they’ll ask “are you comfortable around large groups of people?”
As if introverts can’t command a room.
Or, better yet, as if extroverts are naturally good at public speaking.
(Both of which are far from the truth.)
Which is why I’ve boiled down personality typing into just 4 questions.
Questions that are short and to the point, and also allow for natural (read: honest) answers about who you really are—not just what the world to think you are.
Typing this way will not only save you time but also potential misdiagnoses.
And it’s way more fun than answering 3839373939 banal questions, even if they’re free.
If you want to know how to accurately type yourself—and everyone else—you can by joining my Biz Typology membership site, where you’ll have access to my 1.5-hour masterclass devoted just to typing with precision, and without needless (and misleading) fluff.
To get access for less than your Netflix subscription, go here:
http://biztypology.com
by Stefanie Arroyo | Dec 20, 2017 | Biz Typology
Earlier this year, I nearly got into a knock-down, drag-out fight at everyone’s favorite place—the United boarding gate in Newark Airport.
After excuse-me-excuse-me-pardon-me-excuse-me’ing my way through the sea of people to my spot in line, someone—in an entirely different line, let alone group number—loudly complained that I cut them off.
The thing is, I was in the right place: the Priority Access line.
But, they thought I wasn’t. Or, that I *shouldn’t* be.
And they were very, very angry about it.
To the point of telling all within earshot (loudly and colorfully) that I was trying to jump ahead of everyone.
Had this been a few years ago, I would have blown a gasket—or “clapped back”—while waving my boarding pass in their face, calling out each and every fecked-up assumption this person made about me cutting them instead of, you know, actually having a First Class ticket.
But…I didn’t.
For one: it was barely 5am and, going on zero hours of sleep, I was essentially a reanimated corpse.
And two: I knew EXACTLY who this person was.
As a fellow F (or Feeling) person myself, I know what it’s like to get that sudden hot flush of righteous indignation—warranted or not. And, as an E, I’ve done my share of making this anger known…loudly.
While I’ve never been as irate (or irrational) as this person, I understood full well what was happening—and why.
Which is precisely why I said nothing, letting them stew in their own Hulk-Ragey emotions without saying a word.
Or even acknowledging their existence.
Now, I wish I could say I stayed quiet because I’m a kind and forgiving person.
(I’d like to think I am… most of the time.)
Or that I had tapped into my inner-Jedi, wax-offing their bullshyt from my Zen-like aura.
Nope.
In fact, I had an ulterior, almost-nefarious motive:
Vengeance.
Let me explain:
By their behavior, I could tell exactly what their deep-seated, subconscious motivations were and how this person got their rocks off:
Attention.
Or, specifically, emotional chaos.
They were practically begging for their fill of heated emotion.
Anger. Hurt. Maybe even tears.
They needed it so much, they were holding out their beggar’s cup for everyone else’s emotional spare change, too.
So, I starved them of it.
And, because I didn’t feed the troll, so did everyone else.
In effect, I Peppermint Patty-ed the football… and socially-engineered the rest of the gang to kick them while they were down, too.
Which was only confirmed by all the rapid color-changes their face made as they sheepishly slunk past me down the aisle to Prole Class.
(Or, what my INTJ so lovingly calls the Economy cabin.)
I’ll admit, it felt pretty damn good.
In fact, I slept like a baby—my lie-down seat being extra comfy knowing that I won the battle against a terrible person *and* the war against my primal, knee-jerk nature, too.
While I can’t promise to give you the winning KO combination to every personality type, I can at least equip you with the self-awareness to know, disarm, and almost permanently disable your killswitches… and, by extension, those of others.
Even if for sweet, sweet revenge.
To learn these killer moves, go here:
http://biztypology.com
by Stefanie Arroyo | Dec 19, 2017 | Biz Typology
Over the past few days, I’ve been watching the 1989 Western miniseries, Lonesome Dove.
(A refreshingly nihilistic break from the Lord of the Rings movies of the weeks previous.)
In it, Gus, one of the two retired Texas Rangers the story centers on (played by Robert Duvall) said to the other (a gruff, mega-INTJ Tommy Lee Jones) something that was astoundingly familiar:
“I’m just tryin’ to keep everything in balance, Woodrow. You do more work than you got to, so it’s my obligation to do less.”
This closely synopsizes how I’ve gone about pretty much everything in life, from school all the way up through the launch of my membership site, Biz Typology:
To get things done the “P-brained” way—by spending as little time or as doing as little work on it as possible.
(An argument could be made that the “copy slacker” lifestyle agrees with me.)
That’s not to say that I’m lazy or that I even respect laziness—in fact, it’s just the opposite.
I’d just rather do things the way I’d like to do them—which is in a way that keeps my potentially-ADD-riddled mind constantly engaged, curious, and (dare I say it) happy and even excited to do the work.
This includes outsourcing certain tasks (and specifically working on others myself) as well as organizing my day in a very particular way.
My to-do list is also done in a very specific way.
But, as it’s been discussed in the members-only Biz Typology group, this doesn’t necessarily go with (or even make sense to) some of the more linear, J-minded types.
Why?
Simply put: our brains are just different.
That is unless you know how to navigate other types, getting them onboard your side of operating—and, at times, how to “jailbreak” your own productivity in order to make them happy, too.
So, while people on social media are bandying about memes about extroverts versus introverts, there’s a whole other galaxy in the personality multiverse. One where the creative, left-brained oblong pegs can actually fit into the square holes of systems-based teams and workplaces… and actually like it.
To get access to the monthly trainings plus tried-and-true tips to be creatively flexible *and* massively productive at the same time—and for less than your Netflix subscription—go here:
http://biztypology.com
by Stefanie Arroyo | Dec 17, 2017 | Biz Typology, Gouroux Culture
I recently saw a meme on Facebook that had Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock Holmes, Gandalf the Wizard, Dr. House, MD, and Marlon Brando’s Godfather on it.
It also had “INTJ” written across the bottom.
And underneath that, the words:
“Everybody wants to be like us. Dream on, everybody.”
I don’t know the person who created this meme, but I do know this person is not an INTJ. Or even an “I” at all. In fact, the person is almost certainly a fake introvert, and is clearly an extrovert or an “E.”
My INTJ confirmed this when I showed it to him:
“An INTJ has better things to do than share self-propping memes”
But this goes for anyone who thinks they are an I.
If someone is claiming to be an I yet looking to the Internet for validation about how “I” they are, how intelligent they are, or how “superior” they are to other types… they are really E’s.
And that’s because E’s (and being an E myself, I don’t exactly take pride in admitting this!) are, in some way or another, always seeking and needing validation from others.
I’s — true I’s — don’t care about validation.
In fact, I’s care about something completely different—which, yes, can amount to a fair (or even a lot) of validation and recognition in itself.
But, that’s not their main focus.
Take Johnny Carson for example.
His main goal wasn’t to be the most watched man on TV back in the day. But his main goal—to be the best entertainer around—made him more recognizable than the President of the United States.
It’s a subtle but important difference.
A difference that creators of memes like this one are missing entirely.
That’s why I say, anyone claiming to be an I who does this kind of thing is what I call a fake I.
True I’s may enjoy when validation and recognition when it happens (but usually not as they prefer to off of anyone’s radars — that’s why they are I’s), but they don’t actively seek it. And they definitely don’t create memes pounding their chests about their supposed superiority.
It’s trendy to be an I these days, and this is probably why fake I’s make these kinds of memes.
But if you’re in business, and want to use your natural personality strengths to your advantage, being 100% ruthlessly honest about yourself is the first step.
Knowing what your true type is (and learning how to type others—without them needing to take a test) and how to profit from it is something I teach in my Masterclass, you get when you join my Biz Typology membership site.
Here is where to join:
http://www.biztypology.com
by Stefanie Arroyo | Dec 16, 2017 | Biz Typology
Recently, a well-known life coach who used to pound his chest about being an entrepreneur decided to shelf the entire business for what’s essentially a job.
(To work exclusively on a team, for an entirely different brand.)
It’s certainly his right to do that, and I wish all the power to him.
But… he’s not really an “entrepreneur.”
(Or any kind of “-preneur”)
And he knows that. So he’s doing what make sense for him, his personality type, and his goals.
(His actual goals, too—not what some motivational meme tells him they are.)
But here’s what this has to (potentially) do with you:
If you don’t really have the traits of a typical entrepreneur (and, statistically, you most of us don’t—take away the Internet or Facebook and pretty much everyone I know would be out of business in a heartbeat) that doesn’t mean you can’t have your own successful and thriving business anyway.
That’s where Biz Typology comes in.
I can tell you right now, I lack a lot of core entrepreneurial traits. And so do most people I know in business. But, if you understand how to outsource, team up with, and utilize the resources of other personality types the way I teach (and do myself), you can bring home the income you want, while minimizing your risks, mitigating your weaknesses, and being completely at peace and happy each day doing it.
I’m going to be doing a round of videos on how to do this later this month.
If you have even a shred of insecurity wondering if you’re really an “entrepreneur” or are always struggling with things you see other people breeze through, these videos can change all that around almost overnight.
But they’re only available here, and for less than your next Netflix bill.
To sign up for Biz Typology, go here:
http://biztypology.com
by Stefanie Arroyo | Dec 14, 2017 | Biz Typology
In the Biz Typology Facebook group (aptly called The Bullpen), a healthy discussion is going on about arguably the least secksiest variables in personality typing—the P’s and J’s, or the Perceivers and Judgers.
Specifically, of how to be more productive as a P—or, the ADHD-riddled type.
This is a deeply personal topic for me as, well, you guessed it, I have an enlarged P.
A few weeks ago, my INTJ and I were in deep discussion of all the things we have coming down the pipeline this coming year: with upcoming launches (at the time, my new membership site and his new info products), travel (for business, pleasure, and both), as well as ongoing projects (him finishing up his horror novels, and my second—or as I call “goomah”—admissions business, client work, etc.).
All in all, we both are ridiculously busy next year, in a good way.
During our conversation, my INTJ was growing more and more anxious…. until he looked at his schedule that he’s planned all the way through the new year—since September. Then, he felt a sigh of relief.
Meanwhile, I felt okay—in fact, excited even. That is until he mentioned his schedule. The more and more dates he added to the calendar, the less and less I could feel my feet.
And, when he printed it out, I nearly broke out in hives.
Why?
Because, as a P, I thrive off of flexibility (if I’m being honest) a little chaos. Like a force of nature (or, to my INTJ, an act of God), my best work comes out of (sometimes extreme) pressure—unexpectedly and in TORRENTS.
By “working best under pressure,” I’m meaning my weight in carats—I’m most valuable when extreme, almost-unearthly friction is applied.
Which is something my INTJ is actually a little envious of.
Because, as a P, I can binge work for hours, and even days and days—and he can’t.
Instead, he has to chip at things, brick by brick.
Hour by hour, day by day, he knows EXACTLY what he’s going to do, and exactly what it’s going to look like. He can time his work output (and even energy, sleep, and hunger levels) to the T and almost within the 15 minutes.
Heavily regimented, detailed schedules is what makes his iron sing.
But, me? It makes me want to throw up.
Meanwhile, when he throws his hands up at my “IMPOSSIBLE!” schedule and timelines I impose on myself, I rub my hands in glee.
Like, writing my sales page in about only a day or two (minus some sleep).
Or, writing a manic number of emails in only a few hours.
He says if he could binge work like I can, he’d probably be a billionaire (which isn’t an exaggeration by any means).
Meanwhile, if I could work like him, I would have launched several of these projects months earlier and manage to get a decent amount of sleep every night.
Alas, we can only work the way we can. And, for our own health and sanity’s sake (and, if I’m being honest, our relationship’s), it serves that we stay in our own lane.
Here’s the good news:
If you know how to tap into your particular personality’s strengths (like my chaos-addled work ethic and his rigidly-disciplined strategy), you can make a lot more sales, close a lot more clients, and have a lot more peace of mind. And, you’ll know who are the best JV partners, team members, vendors, and VAs to get even more work done and make even more sales (with a lot less effort and stress).
This is just one of the things I talk about in my Biz Typology membership site.
It’s not expensive. In fact, it’s less than your Netflix subscription per month (for real).
And it’s well worth that much more peace of mind (and far less aggravation when dealing with yourself, and other people).
Here’s the link:
http://www.biztypology.com
by Stefanie Arroyo | Dec 13, 2017 | Biz Typology, Dating
Last week, I was out and about my hometown when I stumbled upon what looked like (to me) a quaint little
cobblestone street, romantically lit by the moon.
I messaged a photo of it to my INTJ, thinking he’ll finally (finally!) see something nice in the “too
congested/dangerous/dirty” city I live in.
He responded with, “Stefania…that looks like the alley where Batman’s parents were killed.”
We then started to banter about it, what I see versus what he sees.
He said, “You see this… (his dog peacefully sleeping, smile on her face)… and I see this… (the evil bloodthirsty
werewolf on the cover of one of his novels)”
I ribbed him back, saying “I see this… (a stock photo of a chef tasting delicious on a spoon) and you see this… (a
vampire licking the blood off of a knife)”
He then said, “You see this… (a pic I took of him looking rather handsome)… and I see this… (Jon Belushi in “Animal
House” watching girls in a sorority house undress).”
I then said, “I see this… (a stock photo of a happy woman talking on the phone)… and you see this… (female vampire
covered in blood, despairing at what she did, calling her sister on the phone for help).”
And on and on it went.
The thing is, this isn’t just the first time I see things entirely differently than he does. What would look or seem
rather banal to me (or, dare I say it, even nice), he’d see it as something completely different.
Like when I took him to the East Village in New York City (a busy, eclectic part of the city well-known for its place in
punk culture) and he saw… something more resembling a garbage dump.
You could say it’s a difference in upbringing—as a born and raised New Yorker, things like “inexpensive,” “quiet,” and
“spacious” are very relative, while for him, a Midwesterner, a handshake is close contact enough, thank you very much.
But, it also comes down to—you guessed it—differences in personality types.
And if you’ve seen my training video about identifying some of these differences, you’ll know who between us does all
the bantering with their Uber driver. Or who prefers to avoid meeting Batman’s parents’ murderer.
But, it’s more than just knowing the differences between types, it’s also knowing what to do about it—being able to
navigate around them to avoid conflict… and making them even kind of fun.
Otherwise, it would be a helluva lot more difficult—and decidedly less fun.
Biz Typology’s doors have swung open for good this past weekend. While the early bird 30-day group coaching bonus has
spread its wings and flown away, you can still get the Masterclass training which goes headlong into understanding—and
even capitalizing off of—these differences in type (and city preference).
To access the Masterclass—and the private Facebook community—join Biz Typology here:
http://biztypology.com
by Stefanie Arroyo | Dec 12, 2017 | Biz Typology, Dating
While in the car with my INTJ the other day, our conversation shifted to the most romantic of topics:
Death.
Of course, while he was talking about this, I started to feel sad.
As an F, I’m like a half-asleep person trying to find the light switch—I have to feel my way through things first. So, in this conversation, I was feeling all the things about him dying. And, since I’m also a weenie, it made my eyes well up a little bit.
Because I’m an E, I had to tell him what I was feeling, and so I tearfully told him I’d be heartbroken if he died…
Seeing my emotions (and my eyes) start to overflow, my INTJ lightly brushed my cheek from the driver’s side, tucked one of my curls behind my ear, and coldly said:
“Well, with any luck, you’ll die first.”
Were it from anyone else, I’d make sure my seatbelt was secure. And maybe sleep with one eye open.
But it didn’t come from anyone else.
It came from my INTJ who, in his INTJ-ness, he sought the easiest solution to my emotional-math problem:
If he dies, I’ll be sad. If I’m not sad, then he did not die.
Since immortality isn’t on the table (yet), the natural conclusion is: if I die, then I won’t be sad.
Anyway, I say this because there are loads of things he says that, if I didn’t already know how he operates, I’d be in for a helluva mindfeck.
Good thing I do. And you can too, by applying personality typing to all your relationships—romantic and business ones, too.
Biz Typology is open for bidness and, in it, you’ll learn (among other things) how to “decipher” what your clients, prospects, team members, and even partners are saying… without fearing for your life (or, I guess, death).
The group coaching bonus has already flown the coop, but you can still get access to the private Facebook community, the Biz Typology Bullpen, along with the monthly trainings on how exactly to use personality typing and to type others.
To have access to the trainings, typing tools, and the group, sign up here:
http://biztypology.com
by Stefanie Arroyo | Dec 11, 2017 | Biz Typology, Gouroux Culture
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been seeing a metric eff-ton of “faux-gagement” posts about personality typing—from either asking their newsfeed for their types, all the way though sharing viral Thought Catalog articles about what MBTI types are likely to order at Shake Shack.
And to paraphrase Spiderman’s Uncle:
With great fraudulence comes even greater irresponsibility.
A lot of these people are wannabes at personality typing at best.
(Hopping on this newest bandwagon in their FB feed.)
And, at worst, borderline frauds, trying to teach it with no real deep knowledge of the subject, other than regurgitating what someone else (yes even a so-called “influencer”) had said about it.
It reminds me of all the Facebook ad strategists.
Notice how many have suddenly popped up over the past few months?
First, there were only a handful of go-to people—those who were well-trained and even better-versed in Facebook algorithm magic. Now, all you need to do is take a $2k course (never mind the Facebook Blueprint trainings available for free) and suddenly they’re masters of the trade. Oh, and they’ll totally do your ads for free, minus the ads cost… “just comment below!” Are you sure you want to entrust your hard-earned buckaroos (because ad spend = $) with someone fresh off a 6-week course, with a cut-and-paste ad?
Yeah, neither would I.
On the other hand, I’ve been doing this my entire working life.
I’ve made a lot of sales and closed a lot of clients doing it. I’ve also talked a lot of scared or angry people out of walking out on their business, their loved ones.
And, once, someone out of ending their life.
I’ve shown many others how to do it too, in my intensives.
And to prove I can help you, I’ve launched Biz Typology membership site for less than the cost of a pre-teen’s allowance.
That way you can hold my feet to the fire.
Force me to show you what I’m talking about.
And not for a King’s ransom like most internet goo-roos demand.
And, if you follow my instructions, close a lot more clients and make a lot more sales without struggle, frustration, or the usual client-coaching games.
If you’re game for the monthly digital coaching, plus access to a private Facebook community that is not full of Internet charlatans… all for less than your monthly Netflix bill, go here:
http://www.biztypology.com
