The Secret of the Black Chicken

A few months ago at the local feed store (or as I call it, the PetSmart for Horses, Too), my INTJ was picking up food for his beloved (non-horse) pet when something in the little chick hatchery nearby caught my eye. 

The one chick to rule them all. 

This chick didn’t look like the rest—where everyone was yellow and fluffy, he was scruffy and black. And looked… almost angry?

Sitting on the water feeder, this Gargamel chick seemed to want nothing to do with the rest of the chick-clan. He was even turned away from the rest. 

To anyone else, this would seem like a case of the Ugly Duckling gone nuclear, with possible evidence of cyber-bullying. Or some fowl version of Ted Kaczynski. 

Instead, I just saw my INTJ in poultry form. And, when showing this to him, he agreed. 


It’s not that chicks (or people) hate him. And, it’s not that he hates them either. It’s more so that he wants to be left alone. And yet, at the top of the water feeder (or, in my INTJ’s case, off a cliff at the western edge of the US) he reaches a strange homeostasis of being away from others…but not necessarily minding them so much. 

Kind of like what the Patrice O’Neal joke my INTJ frequently paraphrases (when wanting some personal space): 

I don’t want you in the same room with me… but I want you in the house. 

Which, is a critical difference. For me and other chicks, fowl or otherwise, around the world. 

To learn this difference no matter what your (or their) personality type is, in 8 short-bite videos (with 7 more forthcoming in just a few days), plus weekly live calls on how to avoid the hen or doghouse both in business AND personal in either case, go here:

From the logs of Captain Plan-a-Ho

Yesterday afternoon, I threw approximately $250 in the trash. 

Not in marked bills, mind you, but another kind of paper—hundreds of smackaroos spent on planners and planning materials went right in the bin. 

Thing is, planning is not my thing. But, I desperately wanted it to be. 

In fact, I convinced myself that *because* I spent that much on planners and materials (which was suspiciously made up of mostly stickers) that I’d suddenly become a “plan-y” person. 

That, for all intents of purposes, I’d finally out P-myself and become a J. 

Turns out, all it takes is 1- a looming trip (and flight time), 2- a possibly overweight checked bag, and 3- all the stress in between for my good intentions laid in December (“I will plan all the things!”) to totally go out the window. 

Or, in this instance, in the kitchen trash can.

And, I have to admit—it’s not just my luggage that got much lighter. It feels good to not HAVE to abide by a 3-inch coiled monster that some Instagram plan-a-ho told me would “revolutionize” my productivity…

…and instead to rely on the very system (or lack thereof) that allowed me to flourish in college, 3 different law firms, and, later, law school. 

My luggage wheels felt better. I felt better. Even my INTJ felt better (not that he feels much): “Again with the stickers?” he’d groan when I’d pull them out during our 24 marathon.

Now that we’re well into March, I wonder how much more productive I could have really been had I not ham-fisted a strategy that was so inherently against my personality type, even if for a few months. 

Much like how many clients I could have had, had I not followed someone else’s one-size-fits-everyone sales tactics. 

Or how much better my relationship currently is because I pointedly did not listen to some people’s relationship “advice.”

And so on. 

This is just the tip of the Biz Typology iceberg, of course. For the rest, including: how to write copy and content your clients actually want to read (and not delete)…the 4 ways to avoid the relationship death spiral (and bad Yelp reviews)… and how to list-build without gouging your eyes out. 

All in short-bite, easy-to-implement videos, for less of a cost than a cocktail (and in less time). The bartender’s right here:

Don’t let your bewbies go to waste

The other day while I was grilling us steaks, my INTJ probed me on one of his favorite topics: 


(Yes, again.) 

Specifically, he wanted to know if I’d continue dating should he meet his Maker a little earlier than expected. 

Mulling over my answer, I grew sad. Being a weenie (and a Feeler), even his hypothetical demise was upsetting. I then told him—almost tearfully—that I couldn’t even contemplate the idea of being with someone else after he died. 

His response? 

“WHAT?! Don’t let those bewbies go to waste! Go get another man, I’m already dead!”

(I suppose indirectly putting “from my cold, dead hands” in new light.) 

Instead of diving headfirst into the Death Spiral (as I wrote about earlier this week), I flipped the porterhouse once more, laughing. 

Yesterday, I went live in the members-only Biz Typology Facebook group and gave the antidote to the poisonous Relationship Death Spiral that is so hard to avoid (that is, unless you have these “cheat codes” up your sleeve). To get access to it (along with exclusive short-bite trainings, including several releasing tomorrow about list building according to your specific personality type) get your little candy-hearts here:

Why your love life is a Death Spiral

Yesterday, one of the most dreaded topics in dating came up in the Biz Typology members-only group: 

The Death Spiral. 

In all its grim details, here’s what it looks like: 

Stage 1: Theo the Thinker meets Faye the Feeler. Faye is enamored of Theo and falls totally head over heels for him. She feels #blessed. Theo is characteristically cautious…but interested. Faye is fun (as are most Feelers), so he wants to see where this goes.

Stage 2: Faye appreciates and admires many characteristics of Theo’s Thinking ways and thus begins to behave more like a Thinker, too—maybe even fooling Theo into thinking s/he is a Thinker like him. In other words, Faye starts acting too cool for school. Theo then relaxes, figuring he’s with a kindred Thinker spirit, getting more comfortable with the relationships. He starts acting like normal Thinking self because he feels… understood.

Stage 3: Faye feels Theo cooling off and wonders what she is doing wrong. So, she tries to be even more like a Thinker to compensate. (Hard to get—or even becoming a little bit of an Ice Queen). But this doesn’t feel right. (Because Faye is a Feeler after all. She feels all the things.) Faye starts to get needy and may even consider it her duty to draw Theo out of his Thinking shell, encouraging Theo to express all those feelings he *must* have buried deep inside. But, Theo doesn’t get it… because, well, he’s a Thinker. What feelings?

Stage 4: Theo feels pressure from Faye’s emotional demands and may need distance to figure things out. (And if Theo the Thinker is an introvert too… he needs about the width of the Grand Canyon.) Faye then panics and becomes needier. Theo withdraws more…so Faye needs more…and on and on it goes. Ouch.

Stage 5: Faye suddenly realizes that the reason things aren’t working is that Theo is cold and unfeeling and mean and unnurturing and all these terrible, awful things she can’t stop thinking about (and, if she’s an Extrovert, can’t stop talking about too all her friends). Faye, feeling *so hurt and sad*, abandons Theo without looking back. She can do so much better without him! (And, if she’s P’s, it may be especially abrupt.) Theo is confused… and yet a little relieved… but disappointed. Back to the dating drawing board.

But, it didn’t have to end that way.

In fact, there’s a way to use these differences (between Feelers and Thinkers, Extroverts and Introverts, and so on) to your advantage.

But, there is a difference between using typing tactically (“let me act all cool for school/touchy-feely to get that guy/girl/client/sale”) versus on principle (“I understand and respect how that person is and now can relate to them in a way that they can understand and respect how I am, too.”)

And that difference can find you happiness… or at the bottom of the Death Spiral’s vortex. 

In just a few days, I’ll be releasing Season Two of Biz Typology, a series of videos dedicated to getting your business (and love life) out of death’s claws.
To get access (and join the conversation already happening in the Facebook community), go here:

The insult that hurt so good

Yesterday was a big day for me and my INTJ: 

It was our one-year anniversary. 

After thanking him profusely for his treat (i.e., a couple bottles of very expensive wine for us to enjoy) he kissed my head, squeezed my shoulder, and said: 

“Well, it’s a very special day for you.”

Past-Stefania would have flipped her lid right in the parking lot. Instead, I just started laughing. 


Because I know exactly what he means: 

It is a special day for me. But, not so much for him. And the thing is—that’s okay. Because that’s just how he is. 

(The hundreds of dollars-worth of wine isn’t too bad either.) 

And knowing that difference can mean everything between having a good night out—or a terrible one in. 

Or, having a successful sales conversation and getting the client(or customer)—or yet another hour wasted on the phone with a now-dead lead.

For more good nights (wine optional), go here:

Why I’ll box you in, and you’ll like it

Reader and Biz Typology subscriber Justin Dickinson reports the following: 

Congratz on launching your new product and sticking to your daily emails like the man Mr. Settle teaches!

I’m thoroughly enjoying the site you put together. The online vids you made are chalk full of useful and practical info.

I always thought personality typing was…  incomplete… I think cause I didn’t like the idea of boxing people into strict categories.

But after listening to you I realized knowing the personality types is a great guideline to understanding how people think, their attitudes, their beliefs and what aspects of life they put more importance on than others.

Now I don’t think there is a single person out there that couldn’t benefit from a study of personality typing in some way.

Thank you for the new insights and I wish you 10x the success in the new year!

My bias-slip may be showing, but I think Justin is 1000% correct.

Speaking of using personality typing ways for good:

Less than 3 hours remain to sign up for the continuity training bonus. 

On the live call, I’ll show you, from soup to nuts, the launch of my own continuity product, Biz Typology, as well as how to choose the right offer for your personality type. And, since it’s a live training, you’ll have ample opportunity to ask all the brain picking questions you’d like. 

But, this bonus expires at tonight at 11:59 pm EST—in only a few hours. 

After that, the bonus will be taken off the shelf, repackaged and will reappear as its own product retailing upwards of $297 or so. 

To secure your spot on the live call (and not pay the $287.01 late fee), go here:

Why I threw James Altucher in the trash

While getting to inbox zero sometime yesterday, I stumbled upon yet another James Altucher email that went unread. 

And it wasn’t until I searched his name in my inbox did I realize I had dozens and dozens of unread JA emails… then hit “select all” and sent them right into the trash. 

Thing is, even though he went unread for this long, I stubbornly stayed on his list. 


Because I was told for years and years that he was the “go-to” gouroux for all things creative and other whoopdeedoo. And that any one “serious about marketing” should devour his work, licking their bowl clean, and ask for more. 

But, fact of the matter is: I’m just not that into him. Which, as I came to realize today during my toxic inbox cleanup, was entirely okay. 

And yet, for months previous, I devoted that much digital real estate to his (unread, “I’ll get to it later”) emails, plugged my nose to force down his blog posts (that I didn’t jive with but “maybe at some point”), and then some. All because some human soundbites told me I should. 

Much like how many Internet people suggest that certain launch strategies are like the panacea to sales. 

Or that particular social media platforms are “must haves” for top-of-mind visibility. 

Or whatever one-size-fits-all tactic gouroux tell you. 

Which is exactly why, in this month’s videos in Biz Typology, I go over what kind of list-building strategies you can use for your unique business, based on your particular personality type. 

(Because, as it turns out, one size does not fit all.)

February’s quick-bite, easy-implementeasy videos will be available in the next few days—but only if you’re a Biz Typology member. 

To sign up, go here:

Why Human Design is bullshyt in a hogwash wrapper

Lately, I’ve been seeing more and more business-turned-life coaches prattling on about Human Design. 

(One of the many personality typing mechanisms being touted as being the latest “it” thing.)

Since typing is my game, I checked it out. At first, it sounded like it made sense. Here’s what the website describes it as: 

“Detailing your talents, skills, and potential it would give you a map for actualizing these. It would help you understand how you are designed to engage with the world and show you where you are susceptible to your environment’s influence and conditioning….how your inner guidance system operates and provides you with practical techniques for making decisions that can greatly enhance your experience of life.”

Sounds good, right? Except it’s based on horseshyt. 

Besides being based on your “Bodygraph”—or what looks like if your bowels were turned into a metaphysical public transportation map—it’s based on things that are largely out of your control. 

Like your birth date. 

Or, as they call it: “planetary glyphs.”
Which are “calculations” taken of the planets 88 days after your birth date to mean… something. 

(Why 88? I suppose we have to ask the cosmos.)

To add further insult to my impending aneurysm, these Human Designers rather inhumanly describe its tents as “describ[ing] characteristics attributed to your Personality. These characteristics are ones that you will recognize, as they are what you have conscious access to and therefore, can relate to. Because you consciously identify with these characteristics, you think of your personality as representation of who you are.”

Well, no shyt, Sherlock. 

And the price of understanding this horseshyt-garnished word salad?

Starts at $97, and goes up to the near thousands. 

And that’s *if* you don’t go through some of these life coaches I’ve been seeing…

But, if you want to understand these “talents, skills, and potential,” including how to use it to make money (and not just spend it on gobbledegook)… and how to recognize, know, and utilize these characteristics in your clients (no birth date required)… and use *real* science?

Which has been used by over 70% of the Fortune 100, about 2,500s college and universities, and literally hundreds of US government agencies?

(Not by the Universe, per se, but that’s pretty high up there.)

Well, you can mosey on over to the link below, for about a tenth of what a Human Designer would cost. 

To get your (psychology-backed, real science-approved) personality typing help, go here:

I went on a “date” with Aziz Ansari

Well, it certainly feels like I did. Reality is, I spent several hours reading accounts of a night out with him graphic enough to feel like it. 

Now, I’m not going to weigh in on my opinion—for that, you have a Google’s worth of reading (as I did). However, I will point to one thing Aziz said in his statement, albeit for my own selfish reasons: 

“It was true that everything did seem okay to me, so when I heard that it was not the case for her, I was surprised and concerned.”

Regardless how you slice it, and by his own admission, what he thought was one thing was entirely another.  (To what end I’ll leave the bloggers and the rash Facebook op-ed writers to decide.)

This sort of misreading of cues (deliberately or not)  happens more often than not in business. In fact, it’s something that almost cost me my livelihood and even my apartment. 

By misreading my leads’ cues, I talked my way right out of sales. (With lost lead after lead, getting more and more in the red—and behind on my rent.)

How do you know if you’re reading your customer’s cues and wants and needs (or, better yet: their dislikes and do-not-wants) accurately?

Biz Typology is a good place to start. Specifically, in Season One’s digital trainings—8 short-and-sweet, easily implemented trainings all on how to communicate with your customers and clients more effectively, by understanding their *real* motivations. 

Not just the ones you’re hot to trot for. 

For more, go here:

I know why you’re miserable

A couple of days ago, I got an email from United Airlines with a report on how much I traveled with them last year. 

In 2017, I’ve apparently flown 27 times for a total of 31,079 miles. 

(Which is 6,178 miles more than the circumference of the earth—and not counting my flights with three other major airlines.) 

Now, a gouroux would take this as an opportunity to bleat about  “location independence” and “the freedom lifestyle.” 

But this says less about my “laptop life” as much as it does my personality type. Because it takes a certain personality to willingly put themselves through 27 flight safety demonstrations, and 31,079 miles worth of being trapped in a tin can hurtling through the air at 500 knots. 

As Grim Reaper Nicole English commented, it’s rather E of me. 

And it is. 

Question is why should you care?

Because there are far too many people in the Internet marketing world who build their businesses to suit someone else’s preferences. 

For example, there are I’s who hate travel and being around people. And yet they end up going to all the seminars and all the masterminds…trying to network at bars…juggling a team of people..and are now miserable. Then, (surprisingly!) their work suffers, their businesses suffer, and they suffer.

On the other hand, there are lots of E’s who work alone at home, are one-man-bands with have little or no interaction with people, living the “working at home!” lifestyle…who absolutely hate it. They’d be better off at a co-working space and building a team to support them.

(And I can certainly attest to the mental, physical, and emotional toll that “working from home” took on my life, business, and even waistline…) 

These things matter more than most people think. And in ways that most people don’t.

But, these things can (if managed correctly—as in, if you’re dialed into your personality type, instead of fighting against it), put a lot more sales in your bank account. And a lot faster than you think.

Speaking of tap dancing with personality typing devil:

This month, I will be walking my Biz Typology members through what exactly when into creating and launching Biz Typology—including every personality type consideration made, as well as the strategy that went into successfully launching it while on vacation. 

On the call, we’ll be going over what continuity offers work best for each personality type, and the curtain will be pulled back, from soup to nuts, into what went into my own offer and launch. 

Which, unless you were a subscriber to Email Players (the $97/month premier email copywriting newsletter) last month, has not been taught before. 

This live training is available only to members of Biz Typology—and only to members as of 11:59 pm tonight East Coast time. After midnight, registration will close. Even if you join for Biz Typology later this month or even later this week, you will not be able to join the live call. 

(And, the next time this training would be made available will be later in the year, as its own product retailing upwards of $297 or more.)

But, if you sign up within the less-than-11 hours remaining, you’ll have access to the live call (plus 9 other trainings on personality typing) for less than 33 cents a day. 

To secure your seat (and get access to the digital trainings and private Facebook community) for a Chicago deep-dish pizza, go here: